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Dear Diary.

Just a quick one to summarise my day. Went to school, did test and some project work. Managed to score an A for the test. Projects is going smoothly. My group members are doing their part and I'm happy for that.

Tomorrow another rehearsal. Dance training tomorrow! :) Woohoo! I can't wait for Friday. Haha. :) school starts at 8am tomorrow. Gosh, I need to sleep early so that can wake up tomorrow morning. School is okay for me now. Can cope with my modules. So far, so good. :)

I'm pretty much the same. The same old me. & yes, I happy with it. Changed my blog skin. I think it is very nice. Haha. 2 thumbs up to me for being able to changed the blog skin on my own. :) Haha.

Alright, that's all. Blog again soon. Goodnight everyone! Take care and God bless you all. :)

another day
to begin
with.

Dear Diary.

To the one & only person.

So, before everything comes to a crashing halt, I have decided to end our friendship.

Perhaps, goodbye is the word to say now. Sorry for everything that I did to you and sorry to cause you so much trouble.

For now, let's put a stop to everything. I didn't hate you nor blame you. Maybe, it was my mistake. It was a mistake right from the start. I already know that it's your personal problems but yet, I decided to interfere.

Maybe, I'm a little too concerned over the issues and lead you to think negatively about me. Sorry, once again. I just blew it off. PERIOD.

a little
too not
over you.

Dear Diary.

Nothing much happened today. Just my normal routine. Went to rehearsal and I think for Scene 5 to 8, they can improve on it. I know you all can. All the best okay. The weather today is so nice that makes me want to sleep throughout the whole day.

Yes, it was raining. It was raining at around 12pm and was really really cold. I didn't want to attend the rehearsal today but then I felt so bored at home that I decided to drop by. Not all attend today as it is only for those that involve in Scene 5 to 8.

I can't wait for Act 2. I hope it is gonna be better than Act 1. Hopefully that no one else will pull out from the production at the very last minute. We have only 2 months left. No more playing around. Time to focus and work on our character.

Overall, I really can see that all of us are putting a lot of effort in each individual roles and portraying their characters. Despite our own busy schedules, most of us took the initiative to actually come down for most of the trainings and it already shows that we all are very much interested for this production.

& not only me but the rest will also agree on that. We can't wait for the act, dance and sing to combine together & I believe that it will be very beautiful and unique. Perhaps, doing a Musical is a good start for all of us rather than doing a normal theatre production.

I'm really thankful to be given such an opportunity to be able to act in a Musical and I hope that everything will go smoothly. Nothing else to blog about. So far, I am enjoying my life with my lovely friends and family.

& most importantly, I'm able to stand on my own feet once again. Despite all the hardships I gone through, nevertheless, I am able to smile again and prove to the rest that without them, I can still survive. :) Thanks to my closest friend, Fadhilah for her support. I miss you! :)

Got to go now. See you all soon. Take care & good night!

I'm proving
myself to
you.

Dear Diary.

I felt so useless now. I don't know what else to say to make you understand. I don't hate people but people hate me. They make a small issues into a big one and thus decided to treat me as an enemy. Why do people keeps on making my life so difficult? I told you already that I was sick the other day, why can't you understand me?

How was I supposed to go for the orientation with dizziness, headaches, vomiting and such? It has already been 2 weeks. Business won already and the orientation was a success. Fina, I don't know what else to explain to you. Since you decided to treat me like this because of just one stupid thing, I will just accept it.

One by one came to attack me. All became my enemies. I don't know lah. From friends to enemies. Was I born to have enemies all my life? Why was I treated this way? I don't owe any of you a living but you all make my life like hell.

Oh God. Sometimes, I just wish I could undo all the wrong things and start a new. I'm not sure whether I will still have enemies in the future or not. Why do people keeps on destroying me? What benefits do they gain from doing so? Why do all of you targeted on me? Was I really in the wrong?

I will just succumb to my fate. Whatever fate install for me, I will do just that. I will not think of anything else and blame myself for everything. If I were in the wrong, I'm really sorry. But all that I ask from you is that, stop treating me like your enemy.

I don't wish to have an enemy. Not even a single one. Everything happens for a reason. I will cry my heart out and pour out all my feelings to myself. I will try to gain back my smile if I can but no one will ever understand me. No one.

Happy Birthday Prema. Wish you all the best in life and may God bless you with good health and good life.

I'm feeling
down time
to time.

Dear Diary.

The below post is not something for you all to know. It does not concern anyone at all. So please, don't assumed I'm writing about you or anyone. It's something personal. p/s, I'm over that post. :) Spend my lovely Sunday at home resting, chatting and watching television the whole day.

Wow! :) I simply enjoyed my Sunday. Went to school just now and did some revision. Was a bit late for class. :) After school, headed back home and now I'm at home blogging! :) Haha. What a day. I'm so tired. My body is aching and I feel so lethargic.

Thank God, I end sch early on every Monday. Haha. Monday BLUES! :) I know some people might be wondering who I'm writing about and why did I wrote that for. I had a fight with that person actually. & the most thing I hate is that the person does not know the whole truth. & some more the person thinks negative about me.

I really don't know why. This is the way I write, the way I type, the way I blog. So if anyone of you got a problem with me, I have only one Sentence for you - DON'T READ MY BLOG! So what, if I blog like a girl lah, putting dear diary and such. It does not bother you so why must you make a big fuss over it?

This is my blog, my life. I can do whatever I want here. Why must you bother about how I write and how I blog? People nowadays, are just getting on my nerves, seriously. If you want me to respect you, please respect me too. Period.

I don't think I'm involve in tomorrow's rehearsal. So, I don't think I will be coming down. :) I don't know what else to blog about. Just end here okay. Anything I just update you all. :) I need a hug, like seriously need it. I'm feeling so down now. God, why can't people just understand me.

I'm begging
you for
mercy.

Dear Diary.

Training was awesome today. Dance was superb eventhough Haizad could not make it. Vocal Instructor didn't turn up due to sore eyes. Had scene practice instead. Was fun. I enjoyed it. But I was not that good enough today. Maybe, due to lack of sleep. :)

To that person - I will never bother about you anymore. You're right. Should not get involved in people's lives. & assuming things is so wrong. GET THIS RIGHT! I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU! Stop thinking negatively about me and assuming that I have a feeling or so about you. NO! I DON'T!

I don't know why lah. I am just trying to be nice but people still misunderstood me. I just don't understand. Was I wrong to be nice? Is it so wrong to be concern for a friend? I don't know, seriously. But since you said that I should keep it to myself and don't bother, I will do just that.

I will wash my hands off you. Right now, I will never bother about you. You can do anything with your own life. This is what you want and I think it is for the best to. PERIOD.

Got CA on Monday. I must study tomorrow. School is still alright for me. Projects are still killing me but I can't afford to lose grades because of that. Got to put in much more effort for it! :) I'm so freaking broke now. I need MONEY.

I got to start working hard next month onwards. All the best, Faiz! :) I guess that's it for now. I don't know what else to blog about. I am so tired. I need to sleep.

Goodnight everyone! Take care okay.

don't remind
me of
the past.

Dear Diary.

Mr Happy - Muhd Faiz
Mr Cool - Elfie
Miss Emo - Huda






Met up with Huda and Elfie after school, yesterday. School ends at 12pm and meet them at around 4.30pm. We took lots and lots of photos cause we love cam whoring! :) this is just some of the pictures taken yesterday.

Headed to rehearsal at around 6pm. Huda suggested we bounce back and took the MRT from Marina Bay to Sembawang. I was so super duper tired yesterday. Rehearsal was good. Alot of Improvements! :) Round of applause to all who did well yesterday. Hehe.

After such, headed back to Khatib with Asyraf, Asyura and Hanna. (correct me if I spell wrongly)
We sat down and rest for a while cause we were so super duper tired. So yeah, took a rest and relax for a while.

I will be coming down later. I wanna see the scene 5 - 8 today. :) hehe! All the best guys and girls! All of you can do it! Projects are killing me, seriously. We got 3 projects and I'm like so freaking busy with school work etc. & I just got to find out that my Course Assessment will be due on 10 July 09 that falls on the day before my College 56 The Musical starts!

Like freaking ohmygod! I really need to buck up on my grades. No more playing around. Time to be serious. I hope I will have a place in Poly, next yr. :) hehe! To Abg Khai, whatever obstacles you may face in future, do relax okay. As you know, we got your back. No matter what, I still believe you're not at fault.

Had a great conversation with Aee, Hafiz Lopez, Abg Khai and Mimi yesterday. :) haha. you know, I know. LOL. Thanks for the concern. I will do what's right for me. As for now, let me sort things through okay.

Alright, I need to rest for a while. Going out afterwards. Need to find more information on my projects. Take care everyone. God bless you all. :)

what I need
most is you
by my side.

Dear Diary.

I felt a pinch and I'm feeling down lately. I'm no longer myself anymore. Things has changed. But, is it for the better or for the worse? I'm confused with what seems to be the truth and what seems to be a reality.

I beginning to doubt on certain issues but am trying my very best not to jump on conclusions and started making a big hole out of it. My temper has simmer down a little. For all you know, I might be very nice and friendly to you. I know that for once, I assumed that you're at fault and I refused to believe your story. I trusted someone else instead and it shoots back at me.

No point for me to regret cause I know its too late to apologise. But instead of picking up the pieces where we both left, you decided to end it once and for all. Leaving me all alone in this cold weather. Maybe, this is what I deserved after I doubted you. I refuses to believe in karma but things has happened to me.

& Now I believe in karma. I really do. It hits right back at me, making me the culprit. I'm so stupid as not to believe you in the first place. If I did back then, we will still remain as friends. Now, you have chosen your own path of life. I won't stop you as I will keep on supporting you from behind.

I never hated you for leaving me cause hated will only leads to vengeance. I'm not that sort of person and I won't treat you as an enemy. Its a lesson learn for me now. I should not only listen to one story but the whole story from both party.

So from there, I can make judgments on who should I believe and who should I not. I can't just take it as if you're obviously wrong and the others is right. Its wrong for me to do so. I should not have done that in the first place.

I'm sorry for causing so much pain in you. I wish I could turn back time and start all over again. Nonetheless, I felt like it is deja vu. Right now, I'm so tired. Tired of being at fault. So so confused. I need a hug right now to ease my pain and I need a shoulder to lean on.

perhaps, I should
start thinking
of you again.

Dear Diary.

It is only the month of April and yet I miss going out with you. Perhaps, both of us are so busy that we lost contact with each other and pretend that everything is alright. I really hope to see you once again and hope to go out with you when the right time comes. As for now, you are busy and I'm busy with my own rehearsals and stuffs.

Forgive me if I didn't call or sms you to ask you how are you and etc. Forgive me if I forget to ask you out or have a lunch with you. Forgive me if I'm so busy that I totally forget about you. Forgive me for my mistake, as I'm only a human being.

Time flies so fast and I seem to lost in touch with time. I miss you like freaking much. I really hope our friendship won't fade away and hope we will still be friends forever. Thank you for all your help and support for all this years and thank you for being there when I'm down.

Thank you for being such a friend and thank you for still treating me as your friend. I'm really thankful to actually know you for almost 7 years. God has created such a friend for me and I should be grateful for that. :)

Thank you Fid. Let's meet up soon. :)

let's just say
I miss you
all over again.

Dear Diary.

School was just amazing today. As usual, did some group work and some highlighting session today. haha. :) I beginning to be attentive in class, not to talk much and listen to teacher. I need to buck up for this term and as well as next term. :)

Rehearsal was a disaster. Not really lah but then almost majority didn't showed up today and some thought it was dance practice just by looking at the schedule that was given a few weeks back. I'm not sure why but I don't seem so hyper enough today. Another bad news received. Sum1 else pulling out from College 56. Oh my God.

No matter what, the show must still go on. Hopefully Thursday, Friday and Saturday rehearsals will be a better one. :) I'm okay with that person alrdy. Haha. I don't wish to show moody faces every time. So yeah, we are OKAY. :)

Yesterday was an awesome day for me. I love the A - Z game. It was fun! I want some more. :) Haha. :) I wanted to go home at around 10pm but ended going home at 11pm. When reached Sengkang, there were no bus to go Tampines! So, the kind hearted Asyraf gave me some money to take a cab home. So sweet. Hehe.

Thanks Asyraf. Next time I treat you okay. hehe. :) Oh yeah, I been having bad moods this few days. Perhaps, mood swing caused me to be like this. No worries, will return to my normal self sooner or later. :)

Schooling again tomorrow. Haha. Got to go now. Take care and good night!

my heart goes
for you and
only you.

Dear Diary.

Work was alright for me. Today, marks the final day of Parkway parade Cotton On as it will be closing down tomorrow onwards. Maybe I will miss all my colleagues and the smell of Famous Amos just below.

I miss the fun we had, the laughter and most importantly the time when we stayed late at night just to do stock take and etc. Perhaps, goodbye is the word to say for now. But, who knows, we might meet again sooner or later. :) Not really sure where we will be posted to as I have no idea.

School tomorrow as usual. 8am starts and I'm not really ready for class. :) Haha. S&W tomorrow. Oh Sharks, I'm gonna get burn with the sun burning up and such. I miss my old colleagues at Giordano.

I don't know why but maybe I really miss them. I heard some of them quit and some still surviving there. Good for those who still managed to stay in Giordano. :) sweet memories are not to be erased or forgotten. How true. & I miss Ashie.

I hope she's doing fine now with her boyfriend. Haha. We met like 23434343434 months ago. I really can't remember when was the last time I saw her. Haha. Do take care okay!

Oh yeah before I forget, Wishing all April BABIES a wonderful BIRTHDAY! :) Hehe. May God bless you with good health and good life. :)

Oh by the way, Abg Khai thanks for everything that you had taught me all this while. Really appreciate it so much. Even though you are no longer a Variasian, but still I will respect you as one. As far as I'm concerned, you inspired me to be an artiste and I believe that with your help and support, I will be able to shine through one day. Insya'allah.

Alright then, take care and good night everyone! :)

we may be near
but I find that
we are far away.

Dear Diary.

I had a great day today. Eventually get lost finding Changi Beach Area C and I tell you, I used up most on my Ez Link Card. & I think, its running low now. So bear with me, Ez Link. :) Gathering was so fun and most of the Variasians turn up. Was so happy to meet all of them again! :)

Had foods and drinks and thanks Umar for making the hot dogs, chicken wings, otah otah etc to a nice one! Appreciate it so much. Well, Iskandar came in the end! Oh gosh, I miss him so much sey! :) Hehe. Do take care once you're in NS okay. :)

Alright, the game was okay. Thought it was Captain's Ball but it turns out to be a little bit of rugby. Some injured themselves and as for me, my foot hurt so bad. Maybe the mosquitoes love my blood so much. haha! :) Most of them came in the evening.

Emotional breakdown occurred and I really don't know wad's going on. So yeah, better shut my mouth up and don't interfere. I really had an awesome day and I really happy that I did turn up despite that I don't wish to. :)

I think I ate alot just now. Maybe was just too hungry or the food is tempting. But overall, I did enjoy it. Tomorrow I'm working. It will be the last day for Parkway parade as the shop is gonna be renovated.

School is pack with projects, projects, projects! I'm getting tired of projects but then I love it. Haha! :) Okay lah got to go already. I want to sleep. Goodnight. Take care every1!

to tell you
I miss you
forever and ever.

Dear Diary.

School was alright for today. Got to crack up my brain for upcoming projects. :) I'm so exhausted. After school, thought of collecting my cheque but ended up sleeping instead. Haha. So yeah, maybe I will collect it tomorrow. :) Working tomorrow.

Rehearsal today was okay too. I left earlier today. Got sumthing on last minute. I want to apologize to every1 that I left early just now. Seriously, sorry. Gathering this Sat, should I go? I don't know lah. I got sumthing on as well but then I want to go. People keep asking me to go. Since it is a gathering. What should I do? Haiz. Maybe I will go. Maybe lah. See how it goes.

I'm so not looking forward for work or school tomorrow. Damn tired. Maybe due to the days I spent 0verseas changed me alot. My appetite has been decreasing and I don't feel the need of eating rice. I don't feel like eating that much anymore. I only feel like drinking water.

When I ate rice, I will get sick and maybe vomit it out. & nowadays I don't tend to eat late at night or having supper or sumthing. Is it a sign that I must lose weight now before I face the worst part? Such as NS? I don't know. Should be lah. I don't feel like myself anymore.

I'm not sure whether that is a good thing or not. Cause initially I wanted to lose weight so badly. Maybe, this is the time for me to do so. As in, preventing myself from eating lots and lots of junk food, fast food etc. Maybe I should keep myself in perfect shape. haha. :) Let's see whether there will be any changes in me or will it remain the same. YOU be the Judge okay! :)

Nothing much to blog about. 4th day of school and its kinda boring already. Wad happened to the old time that we use to have lots and lots of fun together. Teacher has been extremely boring to the core - not to criticise or wad but maybe that's the fact.

Or maybe, it is just US. We just feel that school is boring and keeps on blaming others about it. Never mind. I want to go Poly and for that dream of mine to come true, I got to study smart and study hard and even though the lesson is boring or so, I will still listen to the teacher. I really want to go Poly. :)

Got to go already. I'm so tired. I need my bed, my pillow, my blanket. Oh so nice. Haha. Good night!

let me dream
a little bit
of you.

Dear Diary.

School reopens 2 days back. Oh well, School is just the same as before. Subjects changed, class name changed, teachers changed. Wad else? I guess that's it. School is just okay for me. I would not want to label it as Boring but just alright. Class Advisor is okay lah. A Chinese Male teacher speak like an American born Chinese. Haha.

Maybe it is the first week of sch so I'm not really prepared for anything yet. :) There will be lots and lots and lots of projects coming up. Must buck up for this term. I really need to have a place in Poly. Any polytechnics will do. :)

Drama training is okay. We are now doing scene practice. 4 of the cast pulled out due to some problems. Well, gonna miss them lots and lots! :) Parkway Parade Cotton On will be closing down soon for renovation. Haha

& I'm working on this Friday and Sunday. I can't wait to know which outlet will I be posted to. Quite anxious to know. :) Hafiz H and the gang still disturb me. Since the day we went to Negeri Sembilan until now. I know my voice is nicer than yours. :) Haha.

Okay, maybe Hafiz H can click well with most of the people in Variasi esp that girl. Haha. :) I would not want to mention who cause the person might be checking out my blog anytime.

I got not much to update. Oh yeah, sum1 found a HP! :) Lucky for you sey. :) Well, it is a very very nice hp. Haha. I'm still in holiday mood. Maybe I'm just so tired. Tired to think of projects, schools etc.

Schooling tomorrow as usual & I'm collecting my cheque tomorrow! Drama training tomorrow too. Can't wait! Haha. :) Well got to go now. Will update more if I'm free. Take care peeps!

you may lie to me
& lie to everyone
but you can't lie to yourself.

Dear Diary.

It was a splendid, amazing, exciting 3 days 2 nights at Negeri Sembilan and KL. It was something that I'm really looking forward to and I'm glad we are all back in Singapore, safely. Although the weather over there is hot and such, I still enjoyed every single day there.

The last day was the best I had so far and I really can't wait for next trip. :) Something unpleasant happened to me but I would not care less as I'm now feeling much more better. Thanks for the concern! I reached home around 12am and I went straight to bed as I was exhausted.

Shop for clothes for my family. hope they like it. Hehe. Oh yeah, I lost my hp. It was a sad moment for me as the phone had lots and lots of beautiful memories inside. Such as pictures and lovely text messages. But never mind. I will curse the person who stole my hp.

Pictures and videos of the trip is not with me. Will upload it ASAP. I'm exhausted and I really need alot of rest. I really had a great time during these 3 days. Training will be tomorrow as usual. If I'm really not feeling well, I will not come but if can, I would. Hehe. :)

Okay, got to go now. Have a great day ahead everyone.

p/s; I heard that sum1 has a BLOG.

Dear Diary.

I had an amazing great day today and I really enjoyed it. Meet up with Ain and Hafiz H at around 3.45pm at Bugis. The thought of going Bugis didn't cross my mind at all as I know Bugis is not the place for me to actually hang out. :)

I prefer places like City Hall etc. But I can't outdo him at all. No room for bargains. haha. He wanted to drop his books at the National Library so I sacrifice my day just to accompany Hafiz H and Ain. To be exact, I was not been told that they are going out.

Actually, I was supposed to work today but my shift was canceled as there were too many staffs working. So I asked Ain if I can tag along. haha! :) Thanks for inviting me along!

With this 2 idiots, I really had fun. Haha. We laughed, talk crap and take pictures like nobody business and I really Love it! It was my first time hanging out with such friends and they make my day a happy one and I'm so thankful!

Ain was supposed to go home early but well her mom let her to go home a little bit late so she decided to hang out with us. :) Before heading ourselves home, we took lots and lots and lots of pictures and I can't wait for her to upload it so that I can grab it! Haha.

I didn't ate when we went out. Haha. Was craving for Long John but oh well never mind. Had drinks and cheesecake at Coffee Bean! Nice eh Hafiz! :) Haha, Hafiz H was so Cute and Funny just now. I didn't know that I can get closer with him and get to know him inside out. & Ain was so pretty and sweet. LOL.

Well, note to ourselves - Always Self Praise! LOL. Ain keeps on self praising and maybe that irritates Hafiz! Haha. Its better that you self praise yourself rather than asking others to praise you. I really had a great day today. Excited and was so hyper! :)

We talked about our past and about love. I really can see that Hafiz H is still on the process of forgetting his ex. I don't blame him, seriously. I mean, he did all he can to make his ex happy but I guess she changed after that. Was totally not his fault. Ain was also confused to why his ex changed after so much sacrifices from Hafiz H just to make her happy.

I just hope that he will move on and forget about his ex. :) I'm sure you will find a better person. Going to school tomorrow and after which will be going to Rehearsal. Yay! I'm going off this Friday. Haha.

Will be staying over at Huda's house tomorrow with the rest of the peeps that is going to Nusantara too. I can't wait and I guess time to shop! Haha. Although, I don't really like shopping at Malaysia, but then once in a while, why not.

I already packed my stuffs etc. Haha. :) Don't worry I will go shopping once I got money alright. I have been wearing the same old clothes for the past few months. It's time to get a new set of clothes! LOL.

Alright got to go now. Need to wake up damn early tomorrow. Oh Sharks, can I don't go? hehe. So tired and exhausted. My eyes are sleepy. Damn! Goodnight! :)


you help me out,
when I was down &
for that I'm thankful to you.

Dear Diary.

Yesterday training was the best We did. :) Hehe. Before that, headed to Bukit Batok to watched the Cast of Songsang act. One of the cast, I know. :) Haha. Wad a small world! I really had fun yesterday.

Training was super duper fun. We did acting again no more script reading. haha. :) I was kinda nervous actually but yeah, I did enjoyed it. After which, headed back home. :) Hehe.

Hafiz H called me names. Thanks eh! I called him BITCH! Ain is JERK. :) Haha. Fun lah. I really enjoy talking to Ain and Hafiz H and the rest. So good to know them. :) I hope tomorrow rehearsal will be a better one! :)

2 more days to Negeri Sembilan/KL! Really can't wait and I am damn so excited about it! Woohoo! :) I wanna enjoy my 3 days with my peeps! :) Hehe. Am so going Shopping at KL! :) HAHA!

Alright I got to pack up my things tonight. I need a new clothes ASAP. Ana, Anis let's go shopping one day okay! Hehe. you know, i know. :)

Okay, won't be blogging for 3 days. Don't miss me okay. Take care everyone! Love you all! :)

in this World,
there's no one
greater than GOD.

Dear Diary.

Wanted to blog yesterday but was too tired. Seriously shagged after I came back home from work. Work was so damn tired. Although it is Monday, and as everyone knows that Monday is BLUES, still there are alot of customers coming in and out of the store. One look and I know the store is gonna be damn messy.

Thanks to Fiza, we managed to clear the cartons in the store room and it is quite neat now. :) After I got back home, I drank a cup of Peach Tea as I was super duper thirsty! :) I went online and chatted with Ratna, Aidil and some of my friends.

Went to sleep around 3am plus. Haha. Actually I have no idea wad to blog about. Just want to say that I'm looking forward for KL trip but not really in the mood for School next week. Time to pack my bags and stuffs as I will be staying overnight at my friend house on Thursday. :)

Today got rehearsal but before that will be going off to see the cast of Songsang. Wanna see them act. :) I'm working again tomorrow. Oh Sharks. haha. :)

Why do when someone is already gone, the memories of the person returns and we tend to feel regret and sad? I experienced that and it is so hurtful. I always pray for him and will always remember him. I Love you, Daddy. :)

Alright can't wait for rehearsal and I better get going now. Meeting Asyura later. Haha. If late, she gonna scold me. Haha. :) & the guy above, MISS YOU! :) Meet up soon! :)

Got to go. Take care peeps! :)

in every darkness,
there's a light,
to shine us through.

Dear Diary.

Had an awesome but tiring day today. Work was so super duper shagged. There were alot of customers in the shop and the store is so messy. Clothes are everywhere. YES! Everywhere. Which means customers just keep on throwing anywhere they like. So frustrated!

I was so tired that I just felt like quitting. But at the end of the day, I felt happy. :) Maybe because working in an environment with lots and lots and lots of customers just make the time flies fast. :) Working again tomorrow until closing. & its gonna be MONDAY BLUES!

YEAH! Going KL soon! :) Hehe. Really am so excited about it. Must enjoy every moment of it there! Rehearsal on Tuesday & I'm looking forward for it.

There's not much for me to blog about actually. I got to go to bed soon. Oh yeah, I'm still trying my best to memorise my script. Haha. :) & I must make sure I will do the best for every rehearsal! :)

Pay is coming tomorrow! :) Can settle my unpaid bills! Haha. I'm so in LOVE with Macdonalds! Random right, but its true. Hehe. My Lil sis will be coming home soon! MISS HER!

Alright, got to go. Goodnight! :) Sleep well alright.

every single day and night,
I wish to see you.
I really miss you.

Dear Diary.

I had fun today. Seriously, it was fun. Vocal training was awesome and I really enjoyed all of the voices. I mean, those that sang. :) hehe. Esp Aidil. His voice is really really nice. :) After that, had our script reading which we did blockings. :) which means break into scenes and move about instead of sitting down reading the script. :) it was great.

I had my breakdown just now. I just could not take it so I let it all out just now. Felt better now. :) thanks to All who really encouraged me and consoled me. :) LOVE YOU ALL! to the people that tagged me, thanks okay.

Hafiz H you are Cute but I consider you as Charming instead. Ain is much more cuter in terms of looks. :) hehe. But both of you are Cute, seriously. :) Fina, I miss you lots. See you when I see you. Hugs! :)

& tomorrow I will be working. Heard there are 3 new staffs coming in. :) haha! :) good2. I can't wait for my pay day to pay all my unpaid bills! Hurry2! :) 5 more days & I will be going off to KL! Really can't wait to go KL with my peeps! :)

I got to work on my script. I got to give the best I can. :) I can't delay anymore. Gonna show the rest wad I can do and make sure I can put my script aside for a while and memorise each and every lines with Confident! :)

1 more week & school will be open. Ohmygod. I'm not really ready to go to sch but then I miss my friends. :) hehe. I miss the food there and the school. :) got new faces coming in & ITE Simei will be pack with more students and more students and more students.

I can't wait to get out from that school! 2 more semester and I need to give all the best for all the exams! :) I really want to go Poly afterwards. :) All the best Faiz!

I will be going off to sleep in a few hours time. I'm tired but not sleepy. Haha. I'm so happy for those that got in Poly. How I wish I am the person. Haha. Just need to study hard and study smart for 2 more semester. :) I already made up my mind on wad courses & schools to choose.

Just can't wait to apply Poly next year. To my classmates all the best for this 2 semester. Don't give up just because of the lousy grades/gpa you got last 2 semester. Now, buck up and make sure you study smart.

I'm sure you all can do the very best you can. 2 years will be ending soon. We will no longer be classmates but no matter wad, I won't forget the beautiful/sad/unpleasant/happy memories we all had together.

Let's JIA YOU for this 2 semester and make our Class Advisor proud of us. See you all next week okay! :) Eventhough I do have conflicts with my classmates, I don't hate them. Never will. But its up to them to treat me this way. I'm okay with it.

Okay, I must get ready to memorise my lines ASAP. Got to go now. :) Goodnight!

I treasure you, like I always do.
I protect you, like I promise you.
I love you, forever you.

Dear Diary.

I had an awesome day today yet again. Haha. Swimming at Jurong East was fun! :) although it was raining, we still managed to swim. :) I just love to swim. :) seriously. plans to meet up with nadzirah was canceled due to people not responding/replying my messages. Hehe.

There was some fights. I mean not real fight just that misunderstanding. & sum1 just punched my head. But, its okay. I'm feeling better now. :) hehe. I don't really mind wad happened just now.

Rehearsal was just alright. Dance training was superb today. Hyperactive and most of us did our best! :) So proud. :) although, the hours was short but I did enjoyed it. :) thanks Haizad, for the dance. It was awesome. & Ain was so hyper today! LOL.

Headed to Mac to sit around and chat. Natri laughed at every joke we told her. Haha. :) Natri, take care okay. All the best for tomorrow result. :)

I really miss Fid alot. The last time we met was 2 months or a month ago. I really miss her. Do meet up soon okay. :) hehe. We must spend some time talking crap, laugh like nobody's business and eat Mac! :)

Hang out soon okay! :) Text me alright. Or better still call me. :) Hafiz H, don't get it wrong okay. Haha. I'm seriously fine. Seriously nothing wrong. :) I didn't feel discomfort or disappointed. It is just mood swing. Was not feeling good today, that's all.

I didn't want to turn up for today's training. But since I was at Chinese Garden, so I decided to go. & I really did not regret turning up because today's training was superb to the max! Overall I enjoyed today outing. :)

KL trip next week. Counting on my days! Haha. Mum ask me to pack up my things. :) haha. is she excited that I'm going overseas or she merely misses me? Haha. :) both I guess. Mummy has been so nice to me. I LOVE YOU MUM! :)

Although, my mum and I had ups and downs, I still love her despite her nagging at me and scolding me which is for my own good. :) I just want to promise her that after my studies and NS, I want to work hard and get a better job and give her back the money she spent on me. :) I owe her too much. still, she loves me. Hehe.

Dear Mum, I wish you a longer life and I will make sure I support you when I'm older next time. I make sure I give you a better life ahead and make sure you will still be around to see me settled down. Love you lots, MUM! :)

Saturday is Vocal + Script reading. Haha. Can't wait for it. & I'm working tomorrow(FRIDAY) so tired now. I think I better rest for a while. :) good night.

Take care and Love you all! :) I miss Feena & Nadzerg. :)

I wish to see you.
I want to hug you.
I wish to dream of you.

Hello Diary!

Guess wad? I was fooled twice today! Since, it was April Fools, my friends fooled me. Bad right? Haha! :) never mind, April Fool is over. :) results are quite shocking. well, lets just say I did my best. I'm quite happy with my result.

Got to buck up more next term. 2 more semester and I'm out from that school! Oh yeah, I was not really surprised when my friend told me something. I mean, its their mouths. Wadever they want to say or wish to say, its up to them.

I believe there will be Retribution. Wad goes around comes around. To that particular person, I guess you are happy now. Attacking your enemies one by one. Who's next? Tell me, gal. You really think you are one good person? Kiss your own damn Ass man!

I think all of us here have enough of YOU! yes YOU! Pretending to be so innocent but eventually show us your true colours! I'm glad that we are no longer friends. I trusted you so much but I didn't really expect you would do this to your other friend.

& now she knows your real identity. & that is gossiping and spreading rumours all over. I hope you will get your own retribution and hopefully you and your gang will suffer a thousand/million times worse than us. you don't dare me okay. I can eventually curse a person if I really hate the person. & the first person will be YOU!

But I do not want to interfere anymore cause I don't care at all. Seriously, one can play the same game. You mess with us, we mess with you okay. We are not your dogs. Follow you wherever you go. Haha. Take a look at yourself first.

You may have your friends to protect you but in the end I'm sure you will no longer have them. The game just begin. You can start the ball rolling, gal. :) But bear in mind, God is fair. HE knows who will he help and who will he protect most.

Let's stop here. Talking about you makes me feel like killing you but wad's the point? So, I don't wish to drag this matter anymore. ONE WORD FOR YOU BITCH - KARMA. :)

Had a wonderful evening just now. Meet up with friends and had a lot of catch ups to talk about. Talked about our sec sch days and talked about almost everything in life! Haha. :)

Going out with them for Swimming tomorrow! :) haha. Okay, it has been so long I didn't swim. haha. :) can't wait to enjoy tomorrow.

Izzat, cheer up please. Don't dampen your spirits. I'm sure every problems will have a solution and can be solve. Take care and stop doing foolish things okay. :)

I really can't wait to end school. I hope this 2 semester will end quickly and I will leave ITE for good. & I miss someone badly. I want to talk to you but I just can't. It seems like there's alot to talk about.

I don't know where to start and wad to talk to you about. Maybe, we should just remain as it is now. :) you take care okay.

I want to go to the Beach at East Coast and feel the wind. :) oh, I'm so in LOVE with Korean Dramas! Anymore new dramas? Hehe. I miss Songsang. Haha, random. & of course Variasians peeps! :)

got to go now. Goodnight/goodmorning. Hehe :)

in a minute, I'm thinking of you.
in a second, I'm missing you.
in an hour, I'm wanting you.

Hello Diary!

Basically, I enjoyed today rehearsal. Eventhough, it is quite boring but I really did had fun! :) thanks to Umar, Aidil, Asyura, Azura, Hafiz H and Natri bullying me. Haha. I think we have to be more serious in terms of training. We still got a lot of things to do. Singing, dancing + everything else.

& for me, I really need to buck up on my Malay. Haha. I know, everyone has been helping me in terms of saying the correct words. maybe we did not know that Malay Language is very important nowadays. :)

Okay, I didn't really spend my days out just now. I went to cut my hair! & its freaking nice! :) I love it! Long hair is gone! :) Results will be out soon! :) yes, real soon! I'm very nervous and anxious! :) seriously, I never felt this nervous before. Maybe because, I did badly for my first term that I must do well this term !

Going out to meet Izzat, Asshiq and Hussain later at night! Can't wait. Hussain, please do take care of yourself and your health okay. You're going NS next week, and we all will miss you! Being a policemen is not easy but do your best okay. I will see you when you book out okay. Haha! Can't wait to see you bald! :) & take care okay.

Results are out. Let's just say I did slightly better this time. I didn't took my BCM so that's why my GPA is kinda not good. But this coming term I will take 4 modules! :) hehe. so I must give all the best for all the 4 modules. BCM, I need an A! :)

Got to go now. Take care. Goodnight! :)

every minute, I'll think of you.
every second, I'll miss you.
every hour, I'll love you.

Dear Diary.

Just a quick one to summarise my day. Went to school, did test and some project work. Managed to score an A for the test. Projects is going smoothly. My group members are doing their part and I'm happy for that.

Tomorrow another rehearsal. Dance training tomorrow! :) Woohoo! I can't wait for Friday. Haha. :) school starts at 8am tomorrow. Gosh, I need to sleep early so that can wake up tomorrow morning. School is okay for me now. Can cope with my modules. So far, so good. :)

I'm pretty much the same. The same old me. & yes, I happy with it. Changed my blog skin. I think it is very nice. Haha. 2 thumbs up to me for being able to changed the blog skin on my own. :) Haha.

Alright, that's all. Blog again soon. Goodnight everyone! Take care and God bless you all. :)

another day
to begin
with.

Dear Diary.

To the one & only person.

So, before everything comes to a crashing halt, I have decided to end our friendship.

Perhaps, goodbye is the word to say now. Sorry for everything that I did to you and sorry to cause you so much trouble.

For now, let's put a stop to everything. I didn't hate you nor blame you. Maybe, it was my mistake. It was a mistake right from the start. I already know that it's your personal problems but yet, I decided to interfere.

Maybe, I'm a little too concerned over the issues and lead you to think negatively about me. Sorry, once again. I just blew it off. PERIOD.

a little
too not
over you.

Dear Diary.

Nothing much happened today. Just my normal routine. Went to rehearsal and I think for Scene 5 to 8, they can improve on it. I know you all can. All the best okay. The weather today is so nice that makes me want to sleep throughout the whole day.

Yes, it was raining. It was raining at around 12pm and was really really cold. I didn't want to attend the rehearsal today but then I felt so bored at home that I decided to drop by. Not all attend today as it is only for those that involve in Scene 5 to 8.

I can't wait for Act 2. I hope it is gonna be better than Act 1. Hopefully that no one else will pull out from the production at the very last minute. We have only 2 months left. No more playing around. Time to focus and work on our character.

Overall, I really can see that all of us are putting a lot of effort in each individual roles and portraying their characters. Despite our own busy schedules, most of us took the initiative to actually come down for most of the trainings and it already shows that we all are very much interested for this production.

& not only me but the rest will also agree on that. We can't wait for the act, dance and sing to combine together & I believe that it will be very beautiful and unique. Perhaps, doing a Musical is a good start for all of us rather than doing a normal theatre production.

I'm really thankful to be given such an opportunity to be able to act in a Musical and I hope that everything will go smoothly. Nothing else to blog about. So far, I am enjoying my life with my lovely friends and family.

& most importantly, I'm able to stand on my own feet once again. Despite all the hardships I gone through, nevertheless, I am able to smile again and prove to the rest that without them, I can still survive. :) Thanks to my closest friend, Fadhilah for her support. I miss you! :)

Got to go now. See you all soon. Take care & good night!

I'm proving
myself to
you.

Dear Diary.

I felt so useless now. I don't know what else to say to make you understand. I don't hate people but people hate me. They make a small issues into a big one and thus decided to treat me as an enemy. Why do people keeps on making my life so difficult? I told you already that I was sick the other day, why can't you understand me?

How was I supposed to go for the orientation with dizziness, headaches, vomiting and such? It has already been 2 weeks. Business won already and the orientation was a success. Fina, I don't know what else to explain to you. Since you decided to treat me like this because of just one stupid thing, I will just accept it.

One by one came to attack me. All became my enemies. I don't know lah. From friends to enemies. Was I born to have enemies all my life? Why was I treated this way? I don't owe any of you a living but you all make my life like hell.

Oh God. Sometimes, I just wish I could undo all the wrong things and start a new. I'm not sure whether I will still have enemies in the future or not. Why do people keeps on destroying me? What benefits do they gain from doing so? Why do all of you targeted on me? Was I really in the wrong?

I will just succumb to my fate. Whatever fate install for me, I will do just that. I will not think of anything else and blame myself for everything. If I were in the wrong, I'm really sorry. But all that I ask from you is that, stop treating me like your enemy.

I don't wish to have an enemy. Not even a single one. Everything happens for a reason. I will cry my heart out and pour out all my feelings to myself. I will try to gain back my smile if I can but no one will ever understand me. No one.

Happy Birthday Prema. Wish you all the best in life and may God bless you with good health and good life.

I'm feeling
down time
to time.

Dear Diary.

The below post is not something for you all to know. It does not concern anyone at all. So please, don't assumed I'm writing about you or anyone. It's something personal. p/s, I'm over that post. :) Spend my lovely Sunday at home resting, chatting and watching television the whole day.

Wow! :) I simply enjoyed my Sunday. Went to school just now and did some revision. Was a bit late for class. :) After school, headed back home and now I'm at home blogging! :) Haha. What a day. I'm so tired. My body is aching and I feel so lethargic.

Thank God, I end sch early on every Monday. Haha. Monday BLUES! :) I know some people might be wondering who I'm writing about and why did I wrote that for. I had a fight with that person actually. & the most thing I hate is that the person does not know the whole truth. & some more the person thinks negative about me.

I really don't know why. This is the way I write, the way I type, the way I blog. So if anyone of you got a problem with me, I have only one Sentence for you - DON'T READ MY BLOG! So what, if I blog like a girl lah, putting dear diary and such. It does not bother you so why must you make a big fuss over it?

This is my blog, my life. I can do whatever I want here. Why must you bother about how I write and how I blog? People nowadays, are just getting on my nerves, seriously. If you want me to respect you, please respect me too. Period.

I don't think I'm involve in tomorrow's rehearsal. So, I don't think I will be coming down. :) I don't know what else to blog about. Just end here okay. Anything I just update you all. :) I need a hug, like seriously need it. I'm feeling so down now. God, why can't people just understand me.

I'm begging
you for
mercy.

Dear Diary.

Training was awesome today. Dance was superb eventhough Haizad could not make it. Vocal Instructor didn't turn up due to sore eyes. Had scene practice instead. Was fun. I enjoyed it. But I was not that good enough today. Maybe, due to lack of sleep. :)

To that person - I will never bother about you anymore. You're right. Should not get involved in people's lives. & assuming things is so wrong. GET THIS RIGHT! I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU! Stop thinking negatively about me and assuming that I have a feeling or so about you. NO! I DON'T!

I don't know why lah. I am just trying to be nice but people still misunderstood me. I just don't understand. Was I wrong to be nice? Is it so wrong to be concern for a friend? I don't know, seriously. But since you said that I should keep it to myself and don't bother, I will do just that.

I will wash my hands off you. Right now, I will never bother about you. You can do anything with your own life. This is what you want and I think it is for the best to. PERIOD.

Got CA on Monday. I must study tomorrow. School is still alright for me. Projects are still killing me but I can't afford to lose grades because of that. Got to put in much more effort for it! :) I'm so freaking broke now. I need MONEY.

I got to start working hard next month onwards. All the best, Faiz! :) I guess that's it for now. I don't know what else to blog about. I am so tired. I need to sleep.

Goodnight everyone! Take care okay.

don't remind
me of
the past.

Dear Diary.

Mr Happy - Muhd Faiz
Mr Cool - Elfie
Miss Emo - Huda






Met up with Huda and Elfie after school, yesterday. School ends at 12pm and meet them at around 4.30pm. We took lots and lots of photos cause we love cam whoring! :) this is just some of the pictures taken yesterday.

Headed to rehearsal at around 6pm. Huda suggested we bounce back and took the MRT from Marina Bay to Sembawang. I was so super duper tired yesterday. Rehearsal was good. Alot of Improvements! :) Round of applause to all who did well yesterday. Hehe.

After such, headed back to Khatib with Asyraf, Asyura and Hanna. (correct me if I spell wrongly)
We sat down and rest for a while cause we were so super duper tired. So yeah, took a rest and relax for a while.

I will be coming down later. I wanna see the scene 5 - 8 today. :) hehe! All the best guys and girls! All of you can do it! Projects are killing me, seriously. We got 3 projects and I'm like so freaking busy with school work etc. & I just got to find out that my Course Assessment will be due on 10 July 09 that falls on the day before my College 56 The Musical starts!

Like freaking ohmygod! I really need to buck up on my grades. No more playing around. Time to be serious. I hope I will have a place in Poly, next yr. :) hehe! To Abg Khai, whatever obstacles you may face in future, do relax okay. As you know, we got your back. No matter what, I still believe you're not at fault.

Had a great conversation with Aee, Hafiz Lopez, Abg Khai and Mimi yesterday. :) haha. you know, I know. LOL. Thanks for the concern. I will do what's right for me. As for now, let me sort things through okay.

Alright, I need to rest for a while. Going out afterwards. Need to find more information on my projects. Take care everyone. God bless you all. :)

what I need
most is you
by my side.

Dear Diary.

I felt a pinch and I'm feeling down lately. I'm no longer myself anymore. Things has changed. But, is it for the better or for the worse? I'm confused with what seems to be the truth and what seems to be a reality.

I beginning to doubt on certain issues but am trying my very best not to jump on conclusions and started making a big hole out of it. My temper has simmer down a little. For all you know, I might be very nice and friendly to you. I know that for once, I assumed that you're at fault and I refused to believe your story. I trusted someone else instead and it shoots back at me.

No point for me to regret cause I know its too late to apologise. But instead of picking up the pieces where we both left, you decided to end it once and for all. Leaving me all alone in this cold weather. Maybe, this is what I deserved after I doubted you. I refuses to believe in karma but things has happened to me.

& Now I believe in karma. I really do. It hits right back at me, making me the culprit. I'm so stupid as not to believe you in the first place. If I did back then, we will still remain as friends. Now, you have chosen your own path of life. I won't stop you as I will keep on supporting you from behind.

I never hated you for leaving me cause hated will only leads to vengeance. I'm not that sort of person and I won't treat you as an enemy. Its a lesson learn for me now. I should not only listen to one story but the whole story from both party.

So from there, I can make judgments on who should I believe and who should I not. I can't just take it as if you're obviously wrong and the others is right. Its wrong for me to do so. I should not have done that in the first place.

I'm sorry for causing so much pain in you. I wish I could turn back time and start all over again. Nonetheless, I felt like it is deja vu. Right now, I'm so tired. Tired of being at fault. So so confused. I need a hug right now to ease my pain and I need a shoulder to lean on.

perhaps, I should
start thinking
of you again.

Dear Diary.

It is only the month of April and yet I miss going out with you. Perhaps, both of us are so busy that we lost contact with each other and pretend that everything is alright. I really hope to see you once again and hope to go out with you when the right time comes. As for now, you are busy and I'm busy with my own rehearsals and stuffs.

Forgive me if I didn't call or sms you to ask you how are you and etc. Forgive me if I forget to ask you out or have a lunch with you. Forgive me if I'm so busy that I totally forget about you. Forgive me for my mistake, as I'm only a human being.

Time flies so fast and I seem to lost in touch with time. I miss you like freaking much. I really hope our friendship won't fade away and hope we will still be friends forever. Thank you for all your help and support for all this years and thank you for being there when I'm down.

Thank you for being such a friend and thank you for still treating me as your friend. I'm really thankful to actually know you for almost 7 years. God has created such a friend for me and I should be grateful for that. :)

Thank you Fid. Let's meet up soon. :)

let's just say
I miss you
all over again.

Dear Diary.

School was just amazing today. As usual, did some group work and some highlighting session today. haha. :) I beginning to be attentive in class, not to talk much and listen to teacher. I need to buck up for this term and as well as next term. :)

Rehearsal was a disaster. Not really lah but then almost majority didn't showed up today and some thought it was dance practice just by looking at the schedule that was given a few weeks back. I'm not sure why but I don't seem so hyper enough today. Another bad news received. Sum1 else pulling out from College 56. Oh my God.

No matter what, the show must still go on. Hopefully Thursday, Friday and Saturday rehearsals will be a better one. :) I'm okay with that person alrdy. Haha. I don't wish to show moody faces every time. So yeah, we are OKAY. :)

Yesterday was an awesome day for me. I love the A - Z game. It was fun! I want some more. :) Haha. :) I wanted to go home at around 10pm but ended going home at 11pm. When reached Sengkang, there were no bus to go Tampines! So, the kind hearted Asyraf gave me some money to take a cab home. So sweet. Hehe.

Thanks Asyraf. Next time I treat you okay. hehe. :) Oh yeah, I been having bad moods this few days. Perhaps, mood swing caused me to be like this. No worries, will return to my normal self sooner or later. :)

Schooling again tomorrow. Haha. Got to go now. Take care and good night!

my heart goes
for you and
only you.

Dear Diary.

Work was alright for me. Today, marks the final day of Parkway parade Cotton On as it will be closing down tomorrow onwards. Maybe I will miss all my colleagues and the smell of Famous Amos just below.

I miss the fun we had, the laughter and most importantly the time when we stayed late at night just to do stock take and etc. Perhaps, goodbye is the word to say for now. But, who knows, we might meet again sooner or later. :) Not really sure where we will be posted to as I have no idea.

School tomorrow as usual. 8am starts and I'm not really ready for class. :) Haha. S&W tomorrow. Oh Sharks, I'm gonna get burn with the sun burning up and such. I miss my old colleagues at Giordano.

I don't know why but maybe I really miss them. I heard some of them quit and some still surviving there. Good for those who still managed to stay in Giordano. :) sweet memories are not to be erased or forgotten. How true. & I miss Ashie.

I hope she's doing fine now with her boyfriend. Haha. We met like 23434343434 months ago. I really can't remember when was the last time I saw her. Haha. Do take care okay!

Oh yeah before I forget, Wishing all April BABIES a wonderful BIRTHDAY! :) Hehe. May God bless you with good health and good life. :)

Oh by the way, Abg Khai thanks for everything that you had taught me all this while. Really appreciate it so much. Even though you are no longer a Variasian, but still I will respect you as one. As far as I'm concerned, you inspired me to be an artiste and I believe that with your help and support, I will be able to shine through one day. Insya'allah.

Alright then, take care and good night everyone! :)

we may be near
but I find that
we are far away.

Dear Diary.

I had a great day today. Eventually get lost finding Changi Beach Area C and I tell you, I used up most on my Ez Link Card. & I think, its running low now. So bear with me, Ez Link. :) Gathering was so fun and most of the Variasians turn up. Was so happy to meet all of them again! :)

Had foods and drinks and thanks Umar for making the hot dogs, chicken wings, otah otah etc to a nice one! Appreciate it so much. Well, Iskandar came in the end! Oh gosh, I miss him so much sey! :) Hehe. Do take care once you're in NS okay. :)

Alright, the game was okay. Thought it was Captain's Ball but it turns out to be a little bit of rugby. Some injured themselves and as for me, my foot hurt so bad. Maybe the mosquitoes love my blood so much. haha! :) Most of them came in the evening.

Emotional breakdown occurred and I really don't know wad's going on. So yeah, better shut my mouth up and don't interfere. I really had an awesome day and I really happy that I did turn up despite that I don't wish to. :)

I think I ate alot just now. Maybe was just too hungry or the food is tempting. But overall, I did enjoy it. Tomorrow I'm working. It will be the last day for Parkway parade as the shop is gonna be renovated.

School is pack with projects, projects, projects! I'm getting tired of projects but then I love it. Haha! :) Okay lah got to go already. I want to sleep. Goodnight. Take care every1!

to tell you
I miss you
forever and ever.

Dear Diary.

School was alright for today. Got to crack up my brain for upcoming projects. :) I'm so exhausted. After school, thought of collecting my cheque but ended up sleeping instead. Haha. So yeah, maybe I will collect it tomorrow. :) Working tomorrow.

Rehearsal today was okay too. I left earlier today. Got sumthing on last minute. I want to apologize to every1 that I left early just now. Seriously, sorry. Gathering this Sat, should I go? I don't know lah. I got sumthing on as well but then I want to go. People keep asking me to go. Since it is a gathering. What should I do? Haiz. Maybe I will go. Maybe lah. See how it goes.

I'm so not looking forward for work or school tomorrow. Damn tired. Maybe due to the days I spent 0verseas changed me alot. My appetite has been decreasing and I don't feel the need of eating rice. I don't feel like eating that much anymore. I only feel like drinking water.

When I ate rice, I will get sick and maybe vomit it out. & nowadays I don't tend to eat late at night or having supper or sumthing. Is it a sign that I must lose weight now before I face the worst part? Such as NS? I don't know. Should be lah. I don't feel like myself anymore.

I'm not sure whether that is a good thing or not. Cause initially I wanted to lose weight so badly. Maybe, this is the time for me to do so. As in, preventing myself from eating lots and lots of junk food, fast food etc. Maybe I should keep myself in perfect shape. haha. :) Let's see whether there will be any changes in me or will it remain the same. YOU be the Judge okay! :)

Nothing much to blog about. 4th day of school and its kinda boring already. Wad happened to the old time that we use to have lots and lots of fun together. Teacher has been extremely boring to the core - not to criticise or wad but maybe that's the fact.

Or maybe, it is just US. We just feel that school is boring and keeps on blaming others about it. Never mind. I want to go Poly and for that dream of mine to come true, I got to study smart and study hard and even though the lesson is boring or so, I will still listen to the teacher. I really want to go Poly. :)

Got to go already. I'm so tired. I need my bed, my pillow, my blanket. Oh so nice. Haha. Good night!

let me dream
a little bit
of you.

Dear Diary.

School reopens 2 days back. Oh well, School is just the same as before. Subjects changed, class name changed, teachers changed. Wad else? I guess that's it. School is just okay for me. I would not want to label it as Boring but just alright. Class Advisor is okay lah. A Chinese Male teacher speak like an American born Chinese. Haha.

Maybe it is the first week of sch so I'm not really prepared for anything yet. :) There will be lots and lots and lots of projects coming up. Must buck up for this term. I really need to have a place in Poly. Any polytechnics will do. :)

Drama training is okay. We are now doing scene practice. 4 of the cast pulled out due to some problems. Well, gonna miss them lots and lots! :) Parkway Parade Cotton On will be closing down soon for renovation. Haha

& I'm working on this Friday and Sunday. I can't wait to know which outlet will I be posted to. Quite anxious to know. :) Hafiz H and the gang still disturb me. Since the day we went to Negeri Sembilan until now. I know my voice is nicer than yours. :) Haha.

Okay, maybe Hafiz H can click well with most of the people in Variasi esp that girl. Haha. :) I would not want to mention who cause the person might be checking out my blog anytime.

I got not much to update. Oh yeah, sum1 found a HP! :) Lucky for you sey. :) Well, it is a very very nice hp. Haha. I'm still in holiday mood. Maybe I'm just so tired. Tired to think of projects, schools etc.

Schooling tomorrow as usual & I'm collecting my cheque tomorrow! Drama training tomorrow too. Can't wait! Haha. :) Well got to go now. Will update more if I'm free. Take care peeps!

you may lie to me
& lie to everyone
but you can't lie to yourself.

Dear Diary.

It was a splendid, amazing, exciting 3 days 2 nights at Negeri Sembilan and KL. It was something that I'm really looking forward to and I'm glad we are all back in Singapore, safely. Although the weather over there is hot and such, I still enjoyed every single day there.

The last day was the best I had so far and I really can't wait for next trip. :) Something unpleasant happened to me but I would not care less as I'm now feeling much more better. Thanks for the concern! I reached home around 12am and I went straight to bed as I was exhausted.

Shop for clothes for my family. hope they like it. Hehe. Oh yeah, I lost my hp. It was a sad moment for me as the phone had lots and lots of beautiful memories inside. Such as pictures and lovely text messages. But never mind. I will curse the person who stole my hp.

Pictures and videos of the trip is not with me. Will upload it ASAP. I'm exhausted and I really need alot of rest. I really had a great time during these 3 days. Training will be tomorrow as usual. If I'm really not feeling well, I will not come but if can, I would. Hehe. :)

Okay, got to go now. Have a great day ahead everyone.

p/s; I heard that sum1 has a BLOG.

Dear Diary.

I had an amazing great day today and I really enjoyed it. Meet up with Ain and Hafiz H at around 3.45pm at Bugis. The thought of going Bugis didn't cross my mind at all as I know Bugis is not the place for me to actually hang out. :)

I prefer places like City Hall etc. But I can't outdo him at all. No room for bargains. haha. He wanted to drop his books at the National Library so I sacrifice my day just to accompany Hafiz H and Ain. To be exact, I was not been told that they are going out.

Actually, I was supposed to work today but my shift was canceled as there were too many staffs working. So I asked Ain if I can tag along. haha! :) Thanks for inviting me along!

With this 2 idiots, I really had fun. Haha. We laughed, talk crap and take pictures like nobody business and I really Love it! It was my first time hanging out with such friends and they make my day a happy one and I'm so thankful!

Ain was supposed to go home early but well her mom let her to go home a little bit late so she decided to hang out with us. :) Before heading ourselves home, we took lots and lots and lots of pictures and I can't wait for her to upload it so that I can grab it! Haha.

I didn't ate when we went out. Haha. Was craving for Long John but oh well never mind. Had drinks and cheesecake at Coffee Bean! Nice eh Hafiz! :) Haha, Hafiz H was so Cute and Funny just now. I didn't know that I can get closer with him and get to know him inside out. & Ain was so pretty and sweet. LOL.

Well, note to ourselves - Always Self Praise! LOL. Ain keeps on self praising and maybe that irritates Hafiz! Haha. Its better that you self praise yourself rather than asking others to praise you. I really had a great day today. Excited and was so hyper! :)

We talked about our past and about love. I really can see that Hafiz H is still on the process of forgetting his ex. I don't blame him, seriously. I mean, he did all he can to make his ex happy but I guess she changed after that. Was totally not his fault. Ain was also confused to why his ex changed after so much sacrifices from Hafiz H just to make her happy.

I just hope that he will move on and forget about his ex. :) I'm sure you will find a better person. Going to school tomorrow and after which will be going to Rehearsal. Yay! I'm going off this Friday. Haha.

Will be staying over at Huda's house tomorrow with the rest of the peeps that is going to Nusantara too. I can't wait and I guess time to shop! Haha. Although, I don't really like shopping at Malaysia, but then once in a while, why not.

I already packed my stuffs etc. Haha. :) Don't worry I will go shopping once I got money alright. I have been wearing the same old clothes for the past few months. It's time to get a new set of clothes! LOL.

Alright got to go now. Need to wake up damn early tomorrow. Oh Sharks, can I don't go? hehe. So tired and exhausted. My eyes are sleepy. Damn! Goodnight! :)


you help me out,
when I was down &
for that I'm thankful to you.

Dear Diary.

Yesterday training was the best We did. :) Hehe. Before that, headed to Bukit Batok to watched the Cast of Songsang act. One of the cast, I know. :) Haha. Wad a small world! I really had fun yesterday.

Training was super duper fun. We did acting again no more script reading. haha. :) I was kinda nervous actually but yeah, I did enjoyed it. After which, headed back home. :) Hehe.

Hafiz H called me names. Thanks eh! I called him BITCH! Ain is JERK. :) Haha. Fun lah. I really enjoy talking to Ain and Hafiz H and the rest. So good to know them. :) I hope tomorrow rehearsal will be a better one! :)

2 more days to Negeri Sembilan/KL! Really can't wait and I am damn so excited about it! Woohoo! :) I wanna enjoy my 3 days with my peeps! :) Hehe. Am so going Shopping at KL! :) HAHA!

Alright I got to pack up my things tonight. I need a new clothes ASAP. Ana, Anis let's go shopping one day okay! Hehe. you know, i know. :)

Okay, won't be blogging for 3 days. Don't miss me okay. Take care everyone! Love you all! :)

in this World,
there's no one
greater than GOD.

Dear Diary.

Wanted to blog yesterday but was too tired. Seriously shagged after I came back home from work. Work was so damn tired. Although it is Monday, and as everyone knows that Monday is BLUES, still there are alot of customers coming in and out of the store. One look and I know the store is gonna be damn messy.

Thanks to Fiza, we managed to clear the cartons in the store room and it is quite neat now. :) After I got back home, I drank a cup of Peach Tea as I was super duper thirsty! :) I went online and chatted with Ratna, Aidil and some of my friends.

Went to sleep around 3am plus. Haha. Actually I have no idea wad to blog about. Just want to say that I'm looking forward for KL trip but not really in the mood for School next week. Time to pack my bags and stuffs as I will be staying overnight at my friend house on Thursday. :)

Today got rehearsal but before that will be going off to see the cast of Songsang. Wanna see them act. :) I'm working again tomorrow. Oh Sharks. haha. :)

Why do when someone is already gone, the memories of the person returns and we tend to feel regret and sad? I experienced that and it is so hurtful. I always pray for him and will always remember him. I Love you, Daddy. :)

Alright can't wait for rehearsal and I better get going now. Meeting Asyura later. Haha. If late, she gonna scold me. Haha. :) & the guy above, MISS YOU! :) Meet up soon! :)

Got to go. Take care peeps! :)

in every darkness,
there's a light,
to shine us through.

Dear Diary.

Had an awesome but tiring day today. Work was so super duper shagged. There were alot of customers in the shop and the store is so messy. Clothes are everywhere. YES! Everywhere. Which means customers just keep on throwing anywhere they like. So frustrated!

I was so tired that I just felt like quitting. But at the end of the day, I felt happy. :) Maybe because working in an environment with lots and lots and lots of customers just make the time flies fast. :) Working again tomorrow until closing. & its gonna be MONDAY BLUES!

YEAH! Going KL soon! :) Hehe. Really am so excited about it. Must enjoy every moment of it there! Rehearsal on Tuesday & I'm looking forward for it.

There's not much for me to blog about actually. I got to go to bed soon. Oh yeah, I'm still trying my best to memorise my script. Haha. :) & I must make sure I will do the best for every rehearsal! :)

Pay is coming tomorrow! :) Can settle my unpaid bills! Haha. I'm so in LOVE with Macdonalds! Random right, but its true. Hehe. My Lil sis will be coming home soon! MISS HER!

Alright, got to go. Goodnight! :) Sleep well alright.

every single day and night,
I wish to see you.
I really miss you.

Dear Diary.

I had fun today. Seriously, it was fun. Vocal training was awesome and I really enjoyed all of the voices. I mean, those that sang. :) hehe. Esp Aidil. His voice is really really nice. :) After that, had our script reading which we did blockings. :) which means break into scenes and move about instead of sitting down reading the script. :) it was great.

I had my breakdown just now. I just could not take it so I let it all out just now. Felt better now. :) thanks to All who really encouraged me and consoled me. :) LOVE YOU ALL! to the people that tagged me, thanks okay.

Hafiz H you are Cute but I consider you as Charming instead. Ain is much more cuter in terms of looks. :) hehe. But both of you are Cute, seriously. :) Fina, I miss you lots. See you when I see you. Hugs! :)

& tomorrow I will be working. Heard there are 3 new staffs coming in. :) haha! :) good2. I can't wait for my pay day to pay all my unpaid bills! Hurry2! :) 5 more days & I will be going off to KL! Really can't wait to go KL with my peeps! :)

I got to work on my script. I got to give the best I can. :) I can't delay anymore. Gonna show the rest wad I can do and make sure I can put my script aside for a while and memorise each and every lines with Confident! :)

1 more week & school will be open. Ohmygod. I'm not really ready to go to sch but then I miss my friends. :) hehe. I miss the food there and the school. :) got new faces coming in & ITE Simei will be pack with more students and more students and more students.

I can't wait to get out from that school! 2 more semester and I need to give all the best for all the exams! :) I really want to go Poly afterwards. :) All the best Faiz!

I will be going off to sleep in a few hours time. I'm tired but not sleepy. Haha. I'm so happy for those that got in Poly. How I wish I am the person. Haha. Just need to study hard and study smart for 2 more semester. :) I already made up my mind on wad courses & schools to choose.

Just can't wait to apply Poly next year. To my classmates all the best for this 2 semester. Don't give up just because of the lousy grades/gpa you got last 2 semester. Now, buck up and make sure you study smart.

I'm sure you all can do the very best you can. 2 years will be ending soon. We will no longer be classmates but no matter wad, I won't forget the beautiful/sad/unpleasant/happy memories we all had together.

Let's JIA YOU for this 2 semester and make our Class Advisor proud of us. See you all next week okay! :) Eventhough I do have conflicts with my classmates, I don't hate them. Never will. But its up to them to treat me this way. I'm okay with it.

Okay, I must get ready to memorise my lines ASAP. Got to go now. :) Goodnight!

I treasure you, like I always do.
I protect you, like I promise you.
I love you, forever you.

Dear Diary.

I had an awesome day today yet again. Haha. Swimming at Jurong East was fun! :) although it was raining, we still managed to swim. :) I just love to swim. :) seriously. plans to meet up with nadzirah was canceled due to people not responding/replying my messages. Hehe.

There was some fights. I mean not real fight just that misunderstanding. & sum1 just punched my head. But, its okay. I'm feeling better now. :) hehe. I don't really mind wad happened just now.

Rehearsal was just alright. Dance training was superb today. Hyperactive and most of us did our best! :) So proud. :) although, the hours was short but I did enjoyed it. :) thanks Haizad, for the dance. It was awesome. & Ain was so hyper today! LOL.

Headed to Mac to sit around and chat. Natri laughed at every joke we told her. Haha. :) Natri, take care okay. All the best for tomorrow result. :)

I really miss Fid alot. The last time we met was 2 months or a month ago. I really miss her. Do meet up soon okay. :) hehe. We must spend some time talking crap, laugh like nobody's business and eat Mac! :)

Hang out soon okay! :) Text me alright. Or better still call me. :) Hafiz H, don't get it wrong okay. Haha. I'm seriously fine. Seriously nothing wrong. :) I didn't feel discomfort or disappointed. It is just mood swing. Was not feeling good today, that's all.

I didn't want to turn up for today's training. But since I was at Chinese Garden, so I decided to go. & I really did not regret turning up because today's training was superb to the max! Overall I enjoyed today outing. :)

KL trip next week. Counting on my days! Haha. Mum ask me to pack up my things. :) haha. is she excited that I'm going overseas or she merely misses me? Haha. :) both I guess. Mummy has been so nice to me. I LOVE YOU MUM! :)

Although, my mum and I had ups and downs, I still love her despite her nagging at me and scolding me which is for my own good. :) I just want to promise her that after my studies and NS, I want to work hard and get a better job and give her back the money she spent on me. :) I owe her too much. still, she loves me. Hehe.

Dear Mum, I wish you a longer life and I will make sure I support you when I'm older next time. I make sure I give you a better life ahead and make sure you will still be around to see me settled down. Love you lots, MUM! :)

Saturday is Vocal + Script reading. Haha. Can't wait for it. & I'm working tomorrow(FRIDAY) so tired now. I think I better rest for a while. :) good night.

Take care and Love you all! :) I miss Feena & Nadzerg. :)

I wish to see you.
I want to hug you.
I wish to dream of you.

Hello Diary!

Guess wad? I was fooled twice today! Since, it was April Fools, my friends fooled me. Bad right? Haha! :) never mind, April Fool is over. :) results are quite shocking. well, lets just say I did my best. I'm quite happy with my result.

Got to buck up more next term. 2 more semester and I'm out from that school! Oh yeah, I was not really surprised when my friend told me something. I mean, its their mouths. Wadever they want to say or wish to say, its up to them.

I believe there will be Retribution. Wad goes around comes around. To that particular person, I guess you are happy now. Attacking your enemies one by one. Who's next? Tell me, gal. You really think you are one good person? Kiss your own damn Ass man!

I think all of us here have enough of YOU! yes YOU! Pretending to be so innocent but eventually show us your true colours! I'm glad that we are no longer friends. I trusted you so much but I didn't really expect you would do this to your other friend.

& now she knows your real identity. & that is gossiping and spreading rumours all over. I hope you will get your own retribution and hopefully you and your gang will suffer a thousand/million times worse than us. you don't dare me okay. I can eventually curse a person if I really hate the person. & the first person will be YOU!

But I do not want to interfere anymore cause I don't care at all. Seriously, one can play the same game. You mess with us, we mess with you okay. We are not your dogs. Follow you wherever you go. Haha. Take a look at yourself first.

You may have your friends to protect you but in the end I'm sure you will no longer have them. The game just begin. You can start the ball rolling, gal. :) But bear in mind, God is fair. HE knows who will he help and who will he protect most.

Let's stop here. Talking about you makes me feel like killing you but wad's the point? So, I don't wish to drag this matter anymore. ONE WORD FOR YOU BITCH - KARMA. :)

Had a wonderful evening just now. Meet up with friends and had a lot of catch ups to talk about. Talked about our sec sch days and talked about almost everything in life! Haha. :)

Going out with them for Swimming tomorrow! :) haha. Okay, it has been so long I didn't swim. haha. :) can't wait to enjoy tomorrow.

Izzat, cheer up please. Don't dampen your spirits. I'm sure every problems will have a solution and can be solve. Take care and stop doing foolish things okay. :)

I really can't wait to end school. I hope this 2 semester will end quickly and I will leave ITE for good. & I miss someone badly. I want to talk to you but I just can't. It seems like there's alot to talk about.

I don't know where to start and wad to talk to you about. Maybe, we should just remain as it is now. :) you take care okay.

I want to go to the Beach at East Coast and feel the wind. :) oh, I'm so in LOVE with Korean Dramas! Anymore new dramas? Hehe. I miss Songsang. Haha, random. & of course Variasians peeps! :)

got to go now. Goodnight/goodmorning. Hehe :)

in a minute, I'm thinking of you.
in a second, I'm missing you.
in an hour, I'm wanting you.

Hello Diary!

Basically, I enjoyed today rehearsal. Eventhough, it is quite boring but I really did had fun! :) thanks to Umar, Aidil, Asyura, Azura, Hafiz H and Natri bullying me. Haha. I think we have to be more serious in terms of training. We still got a lot of things to do. Singing, dancing + everything else.

& for me, I really need to buck up on my Malay. Haha. I know, everyone has been helping me in terms of saying the correct words. maybe we did not know that Malay Language is very important nowadays. :)

Okay, I didn't really spend my days out just now. I went to cut my hair! & its freaking nice! :) I love it! Long hair is gone! :) Results will be out soon! :) yes, real soon! I'm very nervous and anxious! :) seriously, I never felt this nervous before. Maybe because, I did badly for my first term that I must do well this term !

Going out to meet Izzat, Asshiq and Hussain later at night! Can't wait. Hussain, please do take care of yourself and your health okay. You're going NS next week, and we all will miss you! Being a policemen is not easy but do your best okay. I will see you when you book out okay. Haha! Can't wait to see you bald! :) & take care okay.

Results are out. Let's just say I did slightly better this time. I didn't took my BCM so that's why my GPA is kinda not good. But this coming term I will take 4 modules! :) hehe. so I must give all the best for all the 4 modules. BCM, I need an A! :)

Got to go now. Take care. Goodnight! :)

every minute, I'll think of you.
every second, I'll miss you.
every hour, I'll love you.